When couples face financial stress, the best approach is to talk it out. But what often happens is the opposite. Research from Cornell University shows that when people feel stressed, they are more likely to avoid initiating conversations with their partner about financial issues. The fear is that it will lead to a fight, causing even more stress. This avoidance can result in a buildup of unresolved financial issues that may ultimately harm the relationship.
According to the study, how couples view their financial problems plays a significant role in whether they are able to address them effectively. Couples who believe their financial issues are perpetual tend to feel like there is no solution. They think they have fundamental differences in how they approach money, making it seem pointless to even discuss the issue. On the other hand, couples who see their problems as solvable and can recall instances where they reached compromises before are more open to discussing money matters.
Many couples default to viewing their financial problems as perpetual, leading to avoidance in discussing these issues. This communication avoidance can also lead to financial infidelity, where one partner hides financial information from the other. The intention behind this behavior may be to prevent conflicts, but in the long run, it can significantly damage the quality of the relationship. It is crucial for couples to understand that lack of communication, whether through avoidance or hiding information, can have negative consequences over time.
To overcome a stalemate in a relationship caused by financial stress, it is essential to acknowledge that these challenges are common and human. Certified financial planner Jude Boudreaux suggests that understanding each partner’s money memories and how they influence their current attitudes towards money is crucial. It is also beneficial to approach financial decisions in a way that considers each partner’s comfort level and needs. By asking questions that help partners feel heard and confident, couples can navigate financial conflicts more effectively.
After years of mediating financial conversations for couples, Boudreaux emphasizes the importance of maintaining an optimistic approach. It is possible for partners with different financial perspectives to find a middle ground. While one partner may lean towards being more conservative, the other may be willing to take a slightly more aggressive stance. By approaching financial discussions with openness and a willingness to compromise, couples can work towards resolving their differences and strengthening their relationship.